In-Person Networking Tips for Non-Natural Networkers

​Perhaps you’re one of those people who loves meeting new people, sharing your own story, and hearing about what makes them tick? More likely not. Networking has a slightly grubby image, bringing to mind suave but slippery souls pretending to want to build a relationship and get to know you, all so they can sell you something… 

So, given that we’re meeting more and more in person again, including at business and professional events, this article shares some tips for those to whom networking doesn’t come naturally. Across many industries, business relationships are very important to career progression, but initiating and nurturing them can be a challenge for some of us.

For example, prowess as a consultant is greatly enhanced by developing your ability to network effectively within the company (so that you are assigned to preferred clients) and externally (to bring more business to the consultancy). ​

...Professional networks lead to more job and business opportunities, broader and deeper knowledge, improved capacity to innovate, faster advancement, and greater status and authority. Building and nurturing professional relationships also improves the quality of work and increases job satisfaction.”
HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW (HBR) article: ‘Learn to Love Networking’

Networking is just another skill, and skills require practice. It’s also important that you find ways that work for you, authentically, else you’ll feel like a fraud and likely come across as forced or not genuine, and damage others’ perceptions of you. Practice and finding your own pattern will enable you to build confidence too – you can do this – and adopting a specific mindset towards an upcoming event can also help, such as reframing it with: 

• Curiosity: I wonder who I’ll meet at the event?
• Support/service: How many people at the event will I be able to help with their own challenges?
• Connection: Who might I be able to connect to others at the event?

It helps a lot to keep an open mind about the possibilities for new experiences and opportunities, to think broadly about what you can give others you meet (guidance, insights, different perspectives, access/connections, resources, gratitude, recognition, understanding...), and to bear in mind the broader purpose beyond the personal benefits (such as helping your clients and/or firm).

Another tip we’ve suggested before is being a speaker at an event if you can. While this takes a lot more work upfront and at the event (to prepare and present), it makes networking much easier. Attendees already know who you are, and will approach you and start a conversation. 

But, what if you need to initiate the conversation? This is a specific area that can benefit from practice, where you’re trying to find opening lines that work for you, and contribute to your interaction being memorable. Remembering those you’ve seen others use (that worked or not) can also help you craft ones that feel comfortable to you. Some options here include:

• asking questions (about the person, the event, the speaker(s), related topics...)
• paying compliments, if appropriate and genuine
• disclosure e.g. saying something interesting about yourself and lowering your barriers might encourage the other person to do the same

Be aware of over-sharing though as that wouldn’t get the conversation off to a good start – you want to strike a good balance between generic and horrific. 

Think of each interaction as contributing to your personal brand. Consider how people you’re meeting will describe you later: boring, passionate, arrogant, knowledgeable, caring, irritating, empathetic, depressing, authentic…? And, compare to how you’d ideally like to be perceived. 

Keeping the conversation going once it has started is also important i.e. being engaging. Asking questions is great for this stage too. Avoid (wo)mansplaining if you give suggestions – be aware of how the person is receiving what you’re saying. And, listen empathetically: allow the person speaking to feel acknowledged and valued. Introverts can be especially good at listening like this.

As you get to know each other, try to identify common interests i.e. how your goals align and how you might build a meaningful working relationship. A collaborative and lasting connection is more likely if you find tasks/activities that require each others’ contributions e.g. co-authoring a conference paper, or starting a professional working party. Such a match will only happen in selected cases, and will take time to develop.

To bring a conversation to a close (and meet others in the time you have), we suggest being honest about exiting the conversation, instead of leaving things hanging. End strong. Let people know it has been good to meet them, perhaps highlighting one thing you learnt from them, and that you’re going to meet other new people. If it’s a networking event, people will be expecting you to network, so won’t feel abandoned! If they know (or have already met) others at the event, perhaps ask who else they suggest and whether they could introduce you. You could use the same technique in reverse i.e. inviting someone else into the conversation to connect them together, and then exiting. If you want to keep in touch with the person after the event, ask to do so, and send them a LinkedIn connection request, followup note on social media, or article/news you think will be of interest to them i.e. think of relevant reasons to communicate so that you can keep building the relationship, bearing in mind what you know about what they value.

We trust you have found these tips helpful – please do practice different approaches to find some that suit your style and personality. And, please add extra tips in the comments below – we’re keen to hear what’s helped you.